12 Things Leaders Should Say More Often

By: Josh

What’s the most important thing you say as a leader?

We may believe that what we say doesn’t matter much. But communication is an essential leadership skill and requirement. What we say, how we say it, and even what we don’t say sends clear signals that create bigger ripples than we likely imagine. A simple thought shared out loud can quickly snowball into guidance issued to the team for immediate action. A casual comment acknowledging hard work can encourage and motivate. Or the lack of expressing support or appreciation can destroy, and we may never know. Failure to give priorities can send our teams into overwhelming disarray.

Our words matter. They are powerful tools to energize, organize, and prioritize. Leaders must be thoughtful in how we communicate, whether formally, informally, casually in passing, and socially. This applies to our verbal and written communication; even our emails fired off in a matter of seconds have an impact.

So, what should we say then? What are the things we ought to be saying more often? Let’s start with a short list of 12 super simple recommendations.

“We”, “our,” and “us.” These are shared, collective pronouns that create inclusion and cohesion. We achieve things as a group. We struggle and strive together through challenges. We don’t point blame or isolate consequences when things fail. Leaders come alongside our teams as a united group.

“Thank you, I appreciate you.” Expressing gratitude is crucial to helping our people feel seen and valued, and to create a more positive work environment. Appreciation is not a limited resource either. We don’t need to reserve it for big achievements or moments. Nor must we restrict to doing it in big showy ways. It’s ok to share appreciation for small routine things in small routine ways. A verbal thank-you or a short hand-written note can go a long way.

“Well done, this is great work.” Our people want to know they are doing good work that matters. Appreciation is an excellent first step, but calling attention to quality, impactful work is also important. Let people know when they’ve done impressive work. I know there’s varying perspectives on the use of “I’m proud of you,” but personally I’m a fan of it and find it’s another easy way to recognize jobs well done.

“I’m sorry.” We are just as flawed as anyone else. Leaders get it wrong too. How we handle those situations, however, sends major messages about how the team handles failure. Leaders set the tone and that can start by saying “I’m sorry” when we get it wrong. It’s a means to show our imperfect humanity as well.

“Can” and “get to.” Leaders deal in the business of optimism, opportunity, and hope. Simple words like “can” or “we get to” point to that important perspective. What other words or phrases can we use to generate a sense of optimism?

“Say more about that.” Our communication matters as leaders, but that doesn’t mean more is better. If all we do is talk, we consume space and prevent others from being able to step in and fill it. How can we create ways for others to contribute more and step into leadership space? Simple statements like “say more about that” are great ways to get people to talk more, go deeper, and remain engaged.

“I need your help.” Everyone wants to feel relevant, be value added, and seen as needed. Like appreciation, there are no consequences to telling people we need their help. When our people feel involved, they feel responsible. Simple statements like this can help them have a stake in the matter at hand. Our people often buy in when given the chance to weigh in.

“How can I help you?” As leaders, we have access to more resources than our people. Those resources include information, contacts, authority and influence, and the ability to make bigger decisions. When carrying out their responsibilities, don’t let people suffer in silence. Be approachable and let them feel safe coming to us if they need help. A great way to break down that barrier is to regularly ask where we can assist.

“I don’t know. What do you think?” Just like saying sorry or expressing that we need our people’s help, admitting we don’t have all the answers creates an opportunity for others to provide ideas and insight. Diversity of thought and perspective can help us collectively get to an even better solution in the end too. We don’t lose respect or credibility if we don’t always have the answer. In fact, this prevents us from being the know-it-all, say-it-all leader.

“This lets us ____.” Connecting people’s work to big impacts is powerful. It helps them to see that what they do matters. It’s inspiring, cultivating their wellspring of intrinsic motivation. So, it might not always be this specific phrase but showing people how their actions lead to significant results is one of the most important things leaders can do.

“Must,” “should,” and “could.” Leaders create clarity in the team’s work through prioritization. That clarity can make individuals and the whole team more effective and more efficient. So, asserting things as “must dos,” “should dos,” and “could dos” (or would like to) can be a way to clearly communicate priorities to the team.

Some of these suggestions are statements. Some are questions. Others are simply specific words to use. But all combine to shape our communication to be clear and thoughtful. Ultimately, all these suggestions really just aim to provide space for others. Space to get involved, engaged, and to create opportunity for more (engagement, value, impact, discussion, etc.).

Our words matter. What on this list are things you may not say as much and should be more regularly? Consider writing them on a 3x5 index card this week to keep with you as a subtle nudge to be more intentional in what you say and how you say it this week.