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  1. Jim Solomon
    February 16, 2020 @ 7:56 pm

    Brilliant article on a critical topic for leaders today -understanding emotional intelligence is a must. Written in a user friendly manner – can easily put into practice. It’s as we say, best leaders must learn to see thru the lens of others, while building a culture of feedback in their organization. Starts at the top! #SeeingWhatIsntThere


  2. Chris Saint Cyr
    February 17, 2020 @ 9:20 pm

    Your first sentence confused me; not sure if the CSM was a new CSM and previously a crusty old 1SG, or he was a crusty CSM in a new, more senior assignment. Then I realized it didn’t matter. Most of those SFCs have no idea that becoming an E7 is as big a step as becoming a SGT E5. They are in a position that will affect Soldiers for years, maybe decades to come. Their interactions with their young lieutenants determine the attitudes of those young leaders for the rest of their career. Being an SFC is so important. The lieutenant is your boss, but you are his or her mentor. I could ramble about the roles and interactions of PLs and PSGs a long time but I won’t.

    Like to SFCs, mid level leaders in the civilian world often underestimate the power they have to implement change. Like senior NCOs they need to learn the importance of relationships. You can accomplish nothing without good relationships. With good relationships there are few things at which you can fail. Your followers won’t let you fail! EQ is something we all can work on.


  3. Chaveso Cook
    February 23, 2020 @ 8:41 am

    In the 4 part model, everything relates and leads to “relationship management”, but in the expanded model there is no “this all ends up ______”. Why is that? Additionally, does your performance relate to other’s performance? Where does one’s potential fit into this model and the overall idea of EQ?


  4. James Beebe
    February 24, 2020 @ 2:10 pm

    Can you please expand on what you mean by “getting mad on purpose?” One of my cadets approached me with the idea of “if I could only get mad on purpose, wouldn’t I already exhibit emotional control/emotional intelligence? I also want my cadets to use these forums for discussion and this is showing them that thoughtful dialogue can/will occur.


    • jbowen100
      February 24, 2020 @ 8:41 pm

      James, great question! This is actually one of the points that I personally feel most strongly about / are most impactful, but also is really hard to articulate how to acquire as a leader quality.
      I’d say that I’ve tried hard to deliberately practice maintaining a broad/long-view perspective in life for a while and I think that has helped me reach a point in where I can more naturally think with long-term perspective that the emotions or immediate consequences don’t seem so major.
      I don’t get so annoyed, frustrated, or bothered by things or people much anymore. I think broader perspective, focused development on empathy, and genuinely caring for others always/no matter what help me to really keep my emotional reactions to things in check. As a leader now, I really only find that I get mad if I deliberately choose to to create urgency or have an intended emotional impact.
      Hard question to answer, but absolutely an important question to answer.
      Thanks for asking for clarification. Clearly I didn’t not provide clarity in the response. Definitely think this needs to be something I think on a bit more to better help others understand.


  5. Terry Brazil
    March 11, 2020 @ 9:13 am

    I love your comment on what so many call the ‘feedback sandwich’. Tell tham something positive, give the developmental feedback, and finish with something positive. NO! Give them what you want them to sustain and then give them what you want them to improve. And be concrete and specific. Thank you!


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